Why Did You Have To Go?
by CHURCH-HiLL
Summary: ONESHOT!Kaoru reflects on her feelings for Kenshin, and believes that he could never love her. Will Kenshin be able to tell her in time? Or will it all end in tragedy? [KK all the way!]


Why Did You Have To Go By Unknown_Hitokiri  
  
[AN: Do you ever get the feeling that kenshin and everyone else takes kaoru for granted? Well I DO! This fic is for those who feel that kaoru takes more emotional abuse that anyone else in world, and it's finally time for kenshin to see. But unfortunately it will end in tragedy. So sorry, and I only have one more thing to say. I HATE TOMOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kenshin.  
  
The name of the man that I fell in love  
  
The name of the man who caries the weight of the world on his shoulders  
  
The name of the man who struck fear in the hearts of many  
  
The name of the man who took lives to save lives  
  
And the name of the man who brought me happiness  
  
Your name.  
  
You brought me happiness, and given me a family that we both needed. You brought light to my world, and sight to my once sightless eyes. You made me feel something that I thought that I could never have.  
  
You made me feel love.  
  
I never thought that I was capable of loving again. I was afraid to.  
  
Everyone that I had ever loved always ended up leaving me. First my mother, then my father. I was alone, and you were alone. Maybe that's why I was drawn to you. Our souls could communicate through our loneliness. I smile at the thought and yet I cry at the same time.  
  
You have also brought me great sorrow.  
  
I love you but you don't love me. I've tried Kenshin. I've really tried. I guess I just wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry, but I'm a weak person. I've never wanted to be weak in your eyes.  
  
But that's all I ever been to you hasn't it?  
  
Weak.  
  
That's what I appear to everyone else. Along with my lack of serenity, and grace. I know for a fact, that you couldn't love me.  
  
Could you?  
  
I once believed that my mother left this world because of me. I blamed myself for my mother's death. You helped me over come that, when you told me that you too felt the weight of someone's death. But I could never compare to your sorrow.  
  
Or the one who's death you will be forever repentant for.  
  
I was envious, and still am. But I know that I'll never be able to take her place. And I'll never want to. I can only hope that you have feelings for me, like you did her. But also know that you'll never be able to that.  
  
No one can.  
  
Who could love an unsightly tomboy like me?  
  
Day after day, insult after insult, I live through this by taking my anger out on the others who are around. What's wrong with me? I'm such a disgrace. When I look in the mirror everyday, I laugh at my self. And I laugh at my self worth.  
  
I guess Yahiko calls me ugly, because there is some truth behind it. After months with living with you all, I guess I excepted that fact after having being called that everyday.  
  
I'm sorry Kenshin, but I have to go.  
  
I learned that you can't make someone love you. I can't make you, love me.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Perfect crystal tears fell from perfect violet eyes  
  
A sob took over his body  
  
Kaoru was gone  
  
His beautiful Kaoru was gone. When he had came home, he had found the letter, and.  
  
He didn't want to believe it, but it was true. He continued to shed tears, as he gathered the now lifeless body of his departed love into his trembling arms. He could feel the warmth of her body disperse into nothingness, as the anguish washed over him.  
  
He had to acknowledge the fact that Kaoru had taken her life in her sorrow.  
  
Regret quickly took hold of his emotions as his heart wept for her. He had wasted so much time. And she felt resentment towards herself  
  
He had ignored her feelings, and thought of himself unworthy and thought that she would be happier without him. But it only ment her death.  
  
Had he only knew.  
  
He would never be able to forgive himself. He had never been able to tell her that he loved her, and would never have a second chance.  
  
He couldn't help but think "Why did you have to go.?"  
  
*:::*END*:::*  
  
[(dabs eyes gently) sniff*sniff, well glad that's over with. I just had to get that out of my system. I don't know why I had to make kaoru die but, it doesn't mean that kenshin is up for grabs people! I'm a strong believer of Kenshin Kaoru romance! I just can't see Kenshin with Tomoe or Megumi. I mean, if kenshin and Tomoe were really ment to, then why did they MAKE HER DIE?! I blame everything on her! If Tomoe wasn't there, Kenshin would still be Battousai, and kick-ass! And Megumi..? I just can't see that happening.]  
  
[I GUESS YOU COULD FLAME ME FOR MAKING HER DIE, BUT I PREFER IT IF YOU DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!]  
  
plz review! ^^ in a good way.  
  
and should I make a sequel, where kaoru comes back? I've already thought of how to bring her back, but that's all up to you guys.  
  
Pick one!:  
  
A.)Flame Unknown_Hitokiri  
  
B.)Cry about the ending  
  
C.) ask for a follow-up, where kaoru comes back!!!  
  
[I could tell you for sure, answer A will not be accepted] 


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